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Put the Eggnog Down, Step Away From the Keyboard

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Thursday, 15 December 2005

I don't know why, but lately I just haven't been able to get the word 'mukluk' out of my head.  That's right, mukluk - you know, those Eskimo boots?

Whenever the ol' noodle keeps replaying the same thought, like a broken record or an infinite brain loop, I know there's a story screaming to be told or...song lyrics crying to be re-written!

Here's my rendition of "Mele Kalikimaka" by Bing Crosby:

Mommy, I'd Like New Mukluks
"Mommy, I'd like new mukluks!"
is the thing they say
on a cold Inuit holiday.

“Chimo” is the arctic greeting that
we send to you,
from the land where seals are prey!

Here we know that Christmas
will be miles of white,
the stars shine 24 hours
‘cause it's always night!

"Mommy I'd like new mukluks!"
It’s the wise way
to spend a Christmas dollar, or two!

And, on that note - Mele Kalikimukluk, to You!




The Art of Language, Coming to a Dinner Table Near You

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Tuesday, 25 October 2005

Mom:  So, what's your favorite homonym.

Kid:  Homonym, I hate homonym.

Kid 2:  No, I think you mean homily.

Mom:  Not homily, a homily is the product of homiletics.

Kid:  Ancient Egyptian writing?

Kid 2:  No, that's hieroglyphics.  Homiletics, you know, preaching.

Mom:  Now, where were we?  Oh, yes; you were telling me you hate hominy.

Kid:  Hominy!  Yes, that's the white stuff I can't stand!

Mom:  So, what's your favorite homonym?

Kid:  Beats me.

Kid 2:  Beets?  I love beets!


Midnight Rumpus

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Sunday, 23 October 2005

It’s been a while since I’ve had a full, uninterrupted night’s sleep.  A year ago our youngest son was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes and since then, I pad to his room at 2:00 AM every morning to make sure he’s not running ‘low’ or ‘high.’  In whatever broken sleep I do enjoy, though, I dream.  It’s always been a fascinating mystery to me, how the quickly the subconscious can work so fast to wrap a dream around a sound.



Powers of 1000, And 1

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Thursday, 13 October 2005

"Mommy, how do you count by 'illions,' is it a million, a billion, a trillion...what comes after a trillion?"

"Hmmm," mommy draws a blank.  "Daddy, what does come after a trillion?"

Daddy doesn't even look up from his paper, "a trillion and one."



Bad Boy, Bad Boy, What'cha Gonna Do?

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Thursday, 06 October 2005

We're on our way to run errands when I take a swig of my bottled water.  From the back-seat a child's voice issues this warning:

"MOM!!!  Don't drink when you're driving!!!"

"It's just water, Chris.  I'm not even on the main road yet."

"MOM!!!  If you drink and drive you're going to be pulled over by the POLICE and have to do EXercises on the side of the ROAD and they're going to show you on T.V. with your FACE scribbled out and then you'll go to JAIL!!!"

One sip of Evian and I'm barreling straight down the slippery slope that leads to Stony Lonesome.

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