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Medusa is Alive, Well and Homeschooling Her Kids in Texas

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Tuesday, 23 August 2005

You would think that scrubbing bathrooms, cooking dinners the kids don’t like and bleaching skid-marks out of boys’ underwear would satisfy anyone’s need for adventure.  You would think so, but I needed a new endeavor.  Something bold, something different, something that you don’t often see on a middle-aged Christian white lady.

I decided to go for dreadlocks.

 

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I'm Not Ready to Trade My Panties for A Box of Depends

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Tuesday, 16 August 2005

Since having children, I've noticed a marked decrease in my ability to control my bladder.  Oh, more than you want to know?  Well, according to my OB-GYN it's "behavioral," and not caused by some medical condition brought on by delivering babies.

Behavioral!!  Are you saying that I'm like a 5 year old who holds her pee until it’s a crisis because she'd rather stand, gripping her crotch, bouncing from foot to foot, than miss a second of playtime with friends?

I don't do that!

 

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My Life in A Tapestry of Unmentionables

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Thursday, 11 August 2005

It occurred to me, while de-cluttering my Master Closet, that the process of sifting through my underwear drawer is a bit like taking a walk down memory lane.  My whole closet is, in fact, a collection of items spanning the decades from the glory days of youth and physical fitness to the present day of motherhood, middle age and moderate activity.  Why do I cling to these vestiges of days past?  Surely not in the hope of wearing any of them again as styles have changed and my requirements have, shall we say, expanded?  Let’s face it, when your measurements have grown from an hour-glass proportion to resembling the shape of an unopened frozen beer can, it’s time to part with the size “s” thongs.

 

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The Geek and The Dreamer

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Sunday, 07 August 2005

Dreamer:  How was your day?

Geek:  OK.  We're having trouble with our Internet connection though.  How was your day?

Dreamer:  OK.  I was thinking about Genesis, and how in Chapter 1 it says that mankind was created on the 6th day, but in Chapter 2 it says that Adam was created between the 2nd and 3rd days.

Geek:  Hmmm.  Ever since I installed Microsoft Project Server we've encountered one hurdle after another. 

Dreamer:  Hmmm.  I was also thinking; if I could time travel I'd want to go to ancient Greece, when the Roman Empire was in its heyday.  To see all the extravagant bathhouses and coliseums; I bet they even had sophisticated plumbing.  It seems like they were obsessive about cleanliness.  What time period would you choose?

Geek:  Wha?  Time period?  Oh, I guess I'd choose the day before I installed Microsoft Project Server.

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Be Vewy, Vewy Quiet

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Tuesday, 26 July 2005

I'm thinking that I need to have a category named "Kid's Toys that Can Double as Psychological Torture Devices."

Last Saturday Chuck took the boys down to Buda's brand-spanking-new-behemoth-outdoorsman's-stuff-mart, Cabela's.  The last time we were in Cabela's was 2 summers ago on our way back from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.  We stopped at the one outside of Minneapolis.  We hadn't really planned to, but there was a tornado ripping through a near-by field and we just felt a little safer in a big, sturdy building.  Who'd 'o thunk, live in TX for 15 years, and then get caught in a Tornado in MN on vacation? 

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