Humor
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A husband at rest will remain at rest until acted upon by an emotionally unbalanced outside force.
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Last night Chuck and I took the boys to the neighborhood pool. I usually enjoy our time at the pool, but last night was packed with all humanity, the water was warm as a bath, and I'm sure I could smell poop.
Yes, someone there, hopefully a kid but I'll never know, was sporting a dirty diaper. Once I became convinced that I could, in fact, smell something like raw sewage, I quickly exited the offensive waters and coaxed my objecting kids out behind me. I tried not to make a big scene, so I walked over to the lifeguard station to fill them in. "Unless we see something floating, there's nothing we can do about it." was their answer.
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I'm sure I'm just a little too self-conscious, but, it's going to be a long time before I return to that H-E-B.
Maybe I could don a wig and shades and dye my kids' hair color, because I really like that particular store; it's new, and clean.
2 nights ago I took the boys shopping. We ate a healthy mac-n-cheese and chicken strip dinner at the H-E-B deli and then spent an hour meandering through the isles, taking our time choosing cereal, squeezing the fruit, etc. The boys were remarkably well mannered and didn’t beg for candy or toys. All was going so smoothly!
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1. Even if you think for one, pacifist minute that you are going to be able to keep toy guns out of their playtime arsenal, boys will still use any object - even fingers will do - to point and shoot.
2. No matter the toy; stuffed animals, dolls (not dolls, ACTION FIGURES), a couple of blocks. It's all about the battle.
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Yesterday, I was late for an appointment and frantically looking through my very pathetic summer wardrobe to find a pair of shorts that might fit over the lumpy behemoth that has grown on the top of my legs. Having minimal success, I squeezed into the only pair available; a beautiful elastic waist, pink, purple and white plaid, and threw on an XL t-shirt to hide their challenged waistline.